The weekend has come to an end... A new week begins... So what has this weekend done for me?
Well, I will admit this - I am currently in a rut. I planned some great runs for this weekend but I did not act on what I planned to do. I am suspecting that my body is trying to tell me something here as I was feeling a little run down. Being in a running rut is one of the things I hate the most. At the same time, I can gain insight as well. For one thing, it forces one to think and evaluate the events that have arisen, or are about to arise.
For me, I was thinking about quite a number of things. For one thing, I have come to the realisation that while I like having my space - one of the reasons why I have not run with the gang since the last race of the OUS season - it can get lonely at times. It seems like the majority of my friends are runners and at any given time, someone is doing an extravagant run somewhere. The onus is always on me to wake up and drive if I ever want to join anyone or suck it up and get out there by myself. I did the latter when I chose to head out to Algonquin Park for two days of trails. Of course, I did take the heat from some well-meaning folks who thought it was really foolish to do so but I had a really great time at it (I promise - report is in progress... I took too many pictures and have to go through them all and choose the best ones :-) ). I will admit that my social skills are limited since I have been used to being a lone maverick and exhibiting my independence - always wanting to do things for myself and not allowing others to assist unless absolutely necessary. Outside of running, yoga, and other physical activity - which releases endorphins - I do not function very well in large group settings so I choose to avoid them as much as possible... As for the non-running friends, contact with them has been limited because of life in general.
I have also made a decision that has the potential to change my life. Nothing has been set in stone but I am definitely going to pull enough strings to make it happen in the New Year. I will not reveal anything now though. I still have to plan it out and make it possible. All weekend, the decision I have made has caused me to look at my life thus far.
One of the things that had me thinking very strongly is the fact that if I commit to my decision, I will have to go into it with a clean spirit and a clear conscience. Within the past couple of years, there have been events that have angered me and turned me away from the people involved, or caused me to look at them differently without addressing the cause of my anger directly with them. One of the events stood out for me as plain as day when I caught a glimpse of that person on Thursday at the MS Society Volunteer Appreciation event. All I could think about was that fateful event in the summer of 2007 during the RONA MS Bike Tours when I took a nasty fall off my bike. I remember reaming out this person for some comments that were made that day when I was clearly hurting physically. I never did address it directly with this person and pretty much left this person in the dark, refusing to talk to this individual at all. I found out that this person has taken a positive step in life and things are changing. I find myself asking - Do I take the step of clearing the air for this person and explaining my source of anger and expressing best wishes and forgiveness, or do I let it all go and move on from there, attempting to be civil from now on? I will have time to decide the answer to this for this individual - and potentially others as well...
So there... I have spilled out some of what was on my mind... Today, I did practise yoga. I definitely had the need to be on the mat today in any capacity. I almost ran afterwards but I decided to take it slow instead. The practise would have been a little more enjoyable if the cyst did not flare up on the right wrist like it did this weekend. I should have seen it coming... Three weeks of compensating for the left wrist did catch up with me after all. During meditation, the tapes of my story kept playing over and over. As much as I tried to stop the tapes, they kept coming up in my mind. I guess this means I have to review those tapes and address them head on...
Please forgive me if this post comes across as depressing. I see this blog as a journal of sorts and right now, I feel the need to express myself. This is my life that I am living. While I am generally a happy person, I am like the average human being. We all have tapes that play in our minds, battles that must be fought, and issues that are addressed on a daily basis.
I am Gailanne and I am climbing out this rut and determined to shine in the light...
Namaste...
Well, I will admit this - I am currently in a rut. I planned some great runs for this weekend but I did not act on what I planned to do. I am suspecting that my body is trying to tell me something here as I was feeling a little run down. Being in a running rut is one of the things I hate the most. At the same time, I can gain insight as well. For one thing, it forces one to think and evaluate the events that have arisen, or are about to arise.
For me, I was thinking about quite a number of things. For one thing, I have come to the realisation that while I like having my space - one of the reasons why I have not run with the gang since the last race of the OUS season - it can get lonely at times. It seems like the majority of my friends are runners and at any given time, someone is doing an extravagant run somewhere. The onus is always on me to wake up and drive if I ever want to join anyone or suck it up and get out there by myself. I did the latter when I chose to head out to Algonquin Park for two days of trails. Of course, I did take the heat from some well-meaning folks who thought it was really foolish to do so but I had a really great time at it (I promise - report is in progress... I took too many pictures and have to go through them all and choose the best ones :-) ). I will admit that my social skills are limited since I have been used to being a lone maverick and exhibiting my independence - always wanting to do things for myself and not allowing others to assist unless absolutely necessary. Outside of running, yoga, and other physical activity - which releases endorphins - I do not function very well in large group settings so I choose to avoid them as much as possible... As for the non-running friends, contact with them has been limited because of life in general.
I have also made a decision that has the potential to change my life. Nothing has been set in stone but I am definitely going to pull enough strings to make it happen in the New Year. I will not reveal anything now though. I still have to plan it out and make it possible. All weekend, the decision I have made has caused me to look at my life thus far.
One of the things that had me thinking very strongly is the fact that if I commit to my decision, I will have to go into it with a clean spirit and a clear conscience. Within the past couple of years, there have been events that have angered me and turned me away from the people involved, or caused me to look at them differently without addressing the cause of my anger directly with them. One of the events stood out for me as plain as day when I caught a glimpse of that person on Thursday at the MS Society Volunteer Appreciation event. All I could think about was that fateful event in the summer of 2007 during the RONA MS Bike Tours when I took a nasty fall off my bike. I remember reaming out this person for some comments that were made that day when I was clearly hurting physically. I never did address it directly with this person and pretty much left this person in the dark, refusing to talk to this individual at all. I found out that this person has taken a positive step in life and things are changing. I find myself asking - Do I take the step of clearing the air for this person and explaining my source of anger and expressing best wishes and forgiveness, or do I let it all go and move on from there, attempting to be civil from now on? I will have time to decide the answer to this for this individual - and potentially others as well...
So there... I have spilled out some of what was on my mind... Today, I did practise yoga. I definitely had the need to be on the mat today in any capacity. I almost ran afterwards but I decided to take it slow instead. The practise would have been a little more enjoyable if the cyst did not flare up on the right wrist like it did this weekend. I should have seen it coming... Three weeks of compensating for the left wrist did catch up with me after all. During meditation, the tapes of my story kept playing over and over. As much as I tried to stop the tapes, they kept coming up in my mind. I guess this means I have to review those tapes and address them head on...
Please forgive me if this post comes across as depressing. I see this blog as a journal of sorts and right now, I feel the need to express myself. This is my life that I am living. While I am generally a happy person, I am like the average human being. We all have tapes that play in our minds, battles that must be fought, and issues that are addressed on a daily basis.
I am Gailanne and I am climbing out this rut and determined to shine in the light...
Namaste...
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