Where I Want to Be Today

Today was an interesting day to say the least... There was the typical day at work - SNAFU... and then life outside of it...

After leaving the office, I managed to get on the train and head home - at the time I wanted to be there. On the way home, I took comfort in chatting with the train gang, including Al, the avid fisherman who gets out every weekend. I swear, I learned so much about fishing just by chatting with Al on an almost daily basis but I've never touched a fishing rod in my life. Most of the usual gang was not on the train this morning, or this evening, so there was no sharing of smartphone tricks this time around. During my commute, I was also pleasantly surprised to get a "Poke" from Mike K. on my phone. We had a few minutes of virtual chatting before I got off the train and headed home.

I arrived home to find my brother curled up in bed, the cold still gripping him like a vice. I immediately got my clothes together and prepped for yoga class. Before leaving home, I checked my e-mail and found an unexpected message in my inbox - one that made me freeze for a moment before coming back to reality and leaving the house.

When I made it to Kula Yoga, I got changed and headed for class. The message received was burning in my mind for much of the class. I should have felt absolute anger, bitterness, and any other negative feelings that could go along with the message... For some reason, it didn't surface at the time...

Tonight, I did an Ashtanga practise. I had a fantastic practise - from Tadasana, through the Sun Salutations (A and B), flowing through the asanas and the power vinyasas that go along with an Ashtanga practise, right through to Savasana. I had a lot of strength in me to carry me through the practise and it felt great. I also got an unexpected opportunity to do half an hour of meditation with three other people. During that time, I tried to let it all go but it was hard... With regards to the message received, I kept asking "Why?"... wondering if things could have been different... I also had strong thoughts about where I am right now. I realised that I have so much going for me at this moment. I have my running, my yoga, my friends, my family, and my life. Up to this point, I have been - and will continue to be - happy. I will get through this brief funk the best I can...

When I got home, I sent a message to my good friend, Eva. In that message, I did some venting. Eva is quite familiar with the background to this latest message and was the first person I though of when I received the message in question. She was one of a few people who was there for me (from a distance away, but always close at heart) when I needed her support in the past as we are mutual confidantes. For her, I am truly grateful. During the meditation session, I was also thinking of some of my powerful friends who I have now and how they have helped my become who I am today. So thank you Mike K., Mike L., Lorene, Diane, Mike C., Susan, Freddie and Flo, Kinndli, Manley, Big Dave, Stacey, Rick, Gavin... and so many others that I have not forgotten but are too numerous to mention... You are all an inspiration to me...

My conclusion... I want to be where I am right now. I want to continue to feel at peace with myself, to work on being authentic, and to be of service to myself and others while having fun with my life.

OK... Enough from me now... Time for rest...

Namaste