WestJet Christmas Miracle: real-time giving

No words are needed to describe this GAMECHANGER moment...

A Journey Through Fear and the Outcome

• As I sat in a meeting with a counselor who was facilitating the meeting, a realisation was revealed to me.  What happened after was the dawning of the aha moment that had me feeling confused, lost, and stuck... 

• While sitting in seated meditation and during the sharing that followed in the group, I felt myself start to shut down and the words could not be properly formed... 

• While testing my limits and setting out on a run in the countryside that was well planned, the cold wind that pushed me head on had different plans for me. The wind started cutting into me and my inner ear was starting to ache.  The thoughts that went through my mind - when I decided to turn back, alter and shorten the run - were not the prettiest thoughts...

These three scenarios all have one common element that sits deep in my core, ready to strike - FEAR...

So what is Fear?

¹fear

verb \ˈfir\

: to be afraid of (something or someone)
: to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)

: to be afraid and worried

²fear

noun

: an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger : a feeling of being afraid

: a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful

(retrieved from  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fear)

The definitions are quite extensive.  I was blown away by the extensiveness of the definitions while I was trolling online looking for a definition to share.  This word comes in the form of both a verb and a noun.

This four letter word has been a part of my life for as long as I have been alive.  It is a feeling that resides deep in the subconscious body and can strike before you know it.  As a human, I have had many fears in life.  Some of them were resolved, while other still live.  Some of my tangible fears include heights, mice, insects, wild animals at large, starting fires, public speaking, and drowning (yet I love water).  While these can be resolved, there are deeper fears that require a lot of work.  Most of these fears are at the emotional level and can be a root cause for the tangible fears.

Over the last few months, I have had to confront what I now know as fear.  In my personal journey, many fears have to be confronted.  I will tell you this - It is not an easy task.  It is not an easy task because the ego takes over and tries to rationalize the fear and turn it into something else.  It will turn that fear into thoughts that can go against you.  

In the situation where I described running into the wind and trying to fight it until my ear started hurting, my thoughts were really reeling.  I had a million things on my mind at the time I thought of turning back.  One of those thoughts were that I was not taking care of myself and that I would relapse into further sickness and possible deafness for running out in the cold.  Another thought was that I would be heckled and ridiculed by the guys at the shop in St. Jacobs when I appeared after a defeated run for even trying to run in the cold.  In actuality, I was rational enough to turn around and seek a safer spot to run where the wind was not so fierce.  My ear was allowed to heal with no intervention needed to speed up the healing and there were no ill effects.  Note to self - ear muffs needed for added protection...  When I got to the shop, the guys were very happy to see me. They were happy to see that I was safe and with them when I described what I went through. In fact, two of them took me with them when they went out to lunch. Later on that night, I saw a Facebook post from another fellow ultrarunner who also spoke of cutting his run short which made me feel better.  I was also inspired by another friend who continued to honour his commitment to improving his running, long after the learn to run meetup concluded. So what was with the thoughts anyway?  When I look back at it, I realised that I was in fear.  I feared not making it, being stranded and hypothermic in the middle of the countryside with no hopes of reaching anyone (my phone was with me but I later found that the cold sucked the life out of the battery even though it was fully charged to start).  I feared what others would say if things did go wrong.

The main thing that seems to drive my fear is my concern for looking good. In fact, it is most likely to be the fear that is deep in my soul. I am not alone in this. Society is driven by the need to look good. This drive is mainly image based. Emotions are often neglected when there is a drive to look good on the surface. As I look at my life, I know I have been constantly plagued by reprimands and criticism in situations where my action or image goes against the grain of what the perceived image should be. This really showed up in the situations I have illustrated in this post.

For the past few months, I have been forced to face some of my deepest fears. I felt like I was alone in this fight. As I gained awareness, the fear grew. There has been a lot of resistance to the work that has to be done to move through my deepest fears. In the past couple of weeks, things started making sense.

A dear friend and I started speaking about fear. Like me, she is also going through the journey to facing her fears. One night, she summed it up. There is only FEAR or LOVE. When it was summed up, I didn't get it. However, with her patience and her love, she explained that in a time of fear, it is important to love oneself, and be gentle with oneself. It is very easy to lose oneself in the face of fear. When that happens, the journey through fear becomes more difficult.

OMG! This is exactly what I needed to hear!  Up to that point, I was starting to get frustrated. I had been searching high and low for answers to my fears and ways to snap out of it. The thing is that fear lives within. How the fear is handled can make or break the overall way of being. Handle it with love and compassion for the best results possible.

After our discussion that night, my day went really well. I allowed myself to feel and acknowledge the love that was shown to me.  I felt really blessed by the message I was given.  If I take off the blinders and really see the forest for the trees, I should be able to see that the universe has provided me with the tools I need to rise above my fears and take action in life. 

Armed with a new sense of awareness, my task is to presence myself to what I am experiencing at the present moment.  In order to calmly and lovingly choose which tool I need to use in order to help, I need to acknowledge the fear that surfaces and see it for what it is.

I cannot believe how good it feels to get this out.  When I had this discussion with my friend, I felt like a weight was being lifted.  Support that is given and received with love really goes a long way.

How would you embrace and acknowledge your fears?  I invite you to explore it as it is right now and create an action plan that will help you rise above it all.

Namaste...

The Suggestive Power of a Good Password

Hmm... "What password am I choosing now? How is it speaking to me?"  "What was that password again?"  "Drats! I just learned that password! Why do I have to change it now?" These, and other thoughts are what goes through the minds of people in a corporate environment that use a computer for their line of work.  

In my full time line of work, I have to remember multiple passwords.  As an IT professional, it is always expected that we are mindful of security.  As a result, multiple passwords are a necessity.  With security in mind, there is a policy in place that requires that passwords be changed after a certain period of time.  There are also complexity requirements that are in place to ensure that passwords are as strong as possible to deter hackers.

We often coach end users in the process of how to select a strong password that is easy for them to remember, but hard for others to guess.  End users often get used to making it easier for them to remember a password through laziness.  An example of this is adding a digit to the current password.  For them, they take it for granted that they have one password to remember and work with on a daily basis.  On the IT side, multiple passwords are the norm.  The challenge is not only to remember them all, but to keep track of when they expire and what the policy is with regards to complexity for each type of password.  I have learned how to make this whole process work for me.

So, how does this process work for me?  For me, I decided to use cues around my workspace in order for me to decide what the new password will be.  This can be a quote on the wall, an event of significance, or even a sentence out of a book that stands out.  I then take that cue and work with it in order to come up with a password that meets complexity requirements.  I recently had an aha moment with this whole process.

My aha moment came when I purchased a book of affirmations by Louise L. Hay -

The Present Moment: 365 Daily Affirmations.  The affirmations were exactly what I needed for what I was going through at the time when I got the book.  I also started thinking about how it could relate to passwords that I do choose. It then occurred to me that the password I choose can make or break my overall outlook on life. 

 

Passwords are really a powerful thing in life because you are confronted with them on a daily basis.  If your password happens to be one that is set in anger, flaming your boss or authority figures for instance, that password will set the tone for your attitude and mood for the duration of the time that the password is valid.  

 

I remember a particular time when I decided to set my password in a desperate attempt to affirm that my former boyfriend was my love.  We were starting to have difficulties at the time and I was desperate to try and make things work out.  I felt like I was putting in a lot of energy into proving that I was committed to the relationship.  Throughout the time I was using the password, I actually felt it drain the life out of me.  I do not know why I did not change it.  It became apparent that he did not care about me and he did not believe that I cared.  He was living in his story and it was affecting the present moment we were in at the time.  I remember feeling a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders when the password finally expired and I had to change it.  Needless to say, I was - and still am - more selective with the passwords that are chosen.

It dawned on me that my passwords are my affirmations.  I remember using cues taken from affirmations and readings that I have been doing.  Over the last few months, I really saw that my passwords were really setting the tone of my work experience and my life.  I recently had a password that was centered around 'Focus'.  After awhile, I realised the shifts that took place during that period.  They were significant enough to be noticed and it encouraged me to move forward.

Now, when coaching and guiding end users with password resets, I encourage them to pick passwords that will empower them in their daily lives.  I tell them about my experiences with this and show them why choosing something that will empower them is a good idea.  It could be as simple as a person that is dear to them, or it could be a memorable event or quote.  As long as it meets the complexity requirements that are set out in the IT policies and it fits the criteria "easy to remember, hard for others to guess", it will be all good.  If it does not work for the user, it can always be changed at will.

I invite you to consider this when setting any passwords that you require - What you invite into your state of mind will reflect the life that happens.  Presence yourself to your current situation, pick a cue that will inspire you to move forward, and set that STRONG password!

In the Name of Movement - What it Means to Me

move·ment

noun \ˈmüv-mənt\

: the act or process of moving people or things from one place or position to another
: the act of moving from one place or position to another

: the act of moving your body or a part of your body

(retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/movement)

I had an awareness recently.  I am meant to move.  My body craves movement and handles stress a lot better when the desire for movement is fulfilled.

Now, this is old news.  I knew this for most of my life.  In the infant and toddler stage, I was an early walker.  I had to be taken for daily walks everyday - regardless of the weather - or else I would be the crankiest girl on the block.  As a child, I just had to be outside... Running, climbing, swinging, handball, skipping rope, cycling, building snow forts... Just name it, I have done it all at least once.  As an adolescent, I moved towards more sports.  I played badminton, excelled in phys-ed, ran cross country and track and field, rode my bicycle for as long as I wanted, and even entered some of the local 5 and 10K races.  I was introduced to yoga and did certain moves to keep limber.  I also started lifting weights and benefited from the strength training.  Adulthood led to more running - working up to ultramarathons, as well as cycling, swimming, more strength training in the form of Crossfit, yoga, and others.  In a nutshell, I have been in movement for much of my life up to this point.

Over the past couple of years, I have gained a new respect and perspective for movement.  The last couple of years were physically and emotionally challenging for me.  I was in a state of dis-ease and there didn't seem to be an end in sight.  I would fall ill, get better, resume physical activity, and then fall ill again.  The cycle was relentless and an accident was the icing on the cake.  My naturopathic doctor and chiropractor stepped in and the intervention began.  I was to drastically reduce all activity.  While I was permitted to perform light forms of physical activity, I had to take a break from the more demanding forms of activity.  What was I to do?  How would I cope?  Would I truly heal?

The recovery process was long and slow.  It was also emotionally challenging.  While the chiropractor worked to balance me through the spinal cord and restore function to key areas of my body, the naturopath worked to restore the chemical balance in my system that was thrown out of balance.  When I finally had my physical done by a medical doctor, I finally gained clarity over what was actually happening with my body and my regimen was adjusted from that point.  I finally began to see hope for what I was going through as my condition began to improve.

My challenge moving forward was to be in movement but balance it with rest.  All of a sudden, I had so many ideas, and as many fears to go along with it all.  So now, instead of charging forward and being movement, I was hanging back in fear.  How was I to get through this and breakthrough the fear that is now holding me back?

I had, and continue to have, motivators that are now keeping me in movement.  First of all, I was introduced to Ido Portal through Kathryn Bruni's website.  Kathryn is a powerhouse in the yoga world and she was inspired by Ido.  When I browsed Kathryn's site, her story made a lot of sense to me.  The story of how movement helped her to cope with her mother's illness and how it helped her to accept that her body was never meant to be that of the stereotypically skinny yogi and dancer really spoke to me.  I too am not a stereotypical yogi - I may be flexible but I am not a pretzel.  I am also not the stereotypical long distance runner - I do not weigh 100lbs or less and actually have some body fat on me - lol.  I also do not bulk up when strength training, nor do I desire to look like the body builder.  The aim is to be strong and functional.  Ido Portal's site and videos showed me some stuff as well.  This is one of my favourite videos that really spoke to me and continues to do so.

Another source of inspiration came through Kyla, who has been through a similar ordeal as I have been with regards to being sidelined.  She provided me with the resources and signs that I needed to read at the time I needed to read them.  All resources somehow pointed to the fact that I need to move in order to cope.  Movement is my life and I need to be in this movement.

Now... How did I take this information and what am I doing with it?  A heck of a lot!  I am now running again. I am back on the yoga mat and trying on new things.  Strength training is also back in.  However, there is a new approach I am taking.  I am mixing things up.  I am sticking with all principles of physical fitness but incorporating different activities each week to meet my requirements.  I have tried Ninjitsu and Capoeira is on deck for martial arts.  I will decide which art form is right for me and keep that in the routine.  Once in awhile, I am indoor rock climbing and bouldering.  This satisfies my strength conditioning requirement.  I have yet to try archery, and swimming will need to be reintroduced.  I am now tasked with coming up with a workout schedule that speaks to me while balancing it with rest and proper nutrition.

Through this whole ordeal, I have learned that it is easy to take the routine, and the given, for granted.  I have taken for granted that I have constantly been in movement and that I can do what others cannot do.  However, I was not in balance.  I neglected the value of rest.  It was this lack of balance that has thrown me off my high horse and caused me to crash and burn.  The lesson for me here is that I must approach movement from a holistic standpoint.  I need to be more in tune, and present, to my body and what it needs.  Thanks to the support I've received in this long recovery process, I am ready to take the lessons learned and my new-found appreciation for movement to the next level...

Game on!

"I AM" - Two Preceding Words with Power

Perusing through the Internet, I came across this video link from one of my best friends, and mentor, Pino.  Now, if you do yoga at Power Yoga Canada and have not been to Pino's class, my advice to you is to do it!  Pino is a powerful individual who knows how to light up a room and empowers others to do the same.

Now, Pino is a huge fan of Oprah Winfrey.  I can see why.  Oprah's messages are very powerful and this video is no exception.  By sharing this link, Pino has given to me what I need to hear right here, right now.

This video says it all. Who are you, and how do you use the words "I am" to describe yourself?  I will admit that I have used those two words against myself several times in my life.  the message I got from this video is that those two words can keep me stuck in my limiting beliefs, or it can free me from my limiting beliefs about myself.  This is just another nugget that I shall take with me as I do the work needed to free myself from the beliefs that have kept me stuck.

I am honoured to share this video with you.  I am honoured to share my thoughts with you.  I am happy that I got what I needed from this video.

Engine #9 - Running By!

This brief video depicts a run-past shot that I took outside of Elmira, Ontario.  This was taken on Labour Day during the Waterloo-Elmira-Waterloo excursion that was hosted by Waterloo Central Railway.

During the excursion, the passengers are let off the train in a field.  The train is then backed up a fair distance, and then a run-past is performed.  Passengers then get the opportunity to shoot photos or videos of the train as it runs past.

Great fun was had by all and we all look forward to doing it again on Thanksgiving Day!

Train Time is Anytime!

Over the past year, thanks to my dear friend Manley, I have started to dabble in yet another passion - trains.  Thanks to the play-by-play I used to get about the fixing up of Engine #9, I finally decided to show up at the shop in St. Jacobs to take a look at this marvel that was being rebuilt for passenger service.  

It's hard to believe that my mechanical inclinations were resurrected a year ago and that I now head over to the shop from time to time to help out with various tasks such as monthly health and safety inspections, as well as some maintenance work on the trains that are at the shop in St. Jacobs - including Engine #9.

My hands have gotten dirty, I have climbed great heights up to the top of the locomotive in order to work on the boiler of Engine #9 (much to the amusement of the old geezers who quickly realised that I have a serious fear of heights!), and I have learned and refreshed the mechanical and electronic skills required to keep the trains moving. 

My rewards? Bragging rights among the friends who have no clue what trouble my shop buddies get me into.  The chance to be of service. The chance to connect with the shop buddies and learn new things.  Manley, Carl, Steve, Irvon, Jim, Norm, Charlie, Kaitlyn (15 years old!) - and numerous others who I have worked with over the year - have all added another dimension to my life.  My trips to the shop may be few (due to obligations, and cost of gas) but I am proud to be one of the gang when I do show up.

And now to complete the making of the new safety inspection sheet that I have taken on :)

In the meantime, here are a select few photos that I have taken in the past year... 

Yes! You can't take the YOGI out of this girl!! (Taken in St. Jacobs - Thanksgiving Day 2012)

The Crew... Hard at work keeping the consist moving...

Engine #9... Enjoying the Thanksgiving Day 2012 Excursion

Family Day 2013 - Engine #9 celebrates 90 years!